Mom & Mind for Pregnancy and Postpartum Mental Health: 143: NICU Experience for Babies and Parents

143: NICU Experience for Babies and Parents

Mar 25, 2019

We know that a NICU stay makes for a difficult postpartum period, but what are the profound and long-lasting effects from this experience? In today’s show, we’re taking a close look at the experience of parents AND babies who go through a stay in the NICU. My guest brings a wealth of information based on her personal and professional experience.

Dr. Mara Stein is a clinical psychologist in private practice who specializes in the emotional aspects of coping with crisis around pregnancy, parenting and medical crisis, child development, and relationship-based developmentally-supportive care to babies and their families. She’s a Certified EMDR therapist, EMDRIA Approved Consultant, and an EMDRIA Approved Trainer for the Insitute for Creative Mindfulness. She’s certified in other modalities, like Emotion-Focused Family and Couple Therapy, is a Gottman Certified Therapist, and continues to pursue training in Clinical Hypnosis and Ego-State therapies. She brings a wealth of clinical expertise and insight along with all she has learned interviewing families around the world for her two books, her EMDR Basic Trainings, and her advanced practice workshops. All of this is grounded in her personal experience and perinatal journey, which began 25 years ago and took her through infertility, twin pregnancy, prolonged hospital bedrest, the NICU, and nearly 23 years of raising NICU graduates. We’re diving into the babies’ experience in the NICU and the interplay that may occur with their parents.

Show Highlights:

How Mara’s specialty came about from her personal journey when she realized that resources were lacking in this area for parents’ emotional needs
How she found a worldwide online support group for parents of preemies, which became the foundation of her work
How she became passionate about writing and teaching about perinatal trauma
Her EMDR work and training over the last 16 years
The range of conditions and ages of NICU babies
How NICU departments vary around the world in how they operate
Factors that interrupt a baby’s natural pattern in traditional NICU, with the environment, lights, sounds, etc.
The long-term effects of a NICU stay
The sensory mismatch for babies, with sounds, lights, and interruptions
How a developmentally-supportive NICU differs from traditional NICU
Why moms feel like they need to “stay out of the way”
How parent feel disoriented in many ways
How overstimulation and stress affect a NICU baby
How parents navigate their connection to their baby
Why it’s hard to attune to a NICU baby, and a parent’s hesitation may be misinterpreted as lack of attachment
The first time Mara felt like her NICU baby’s mother
The mental health of parents, and how they can work through and heal
Why parents ask, “Who is like me?” and “Where are the others?”
Transitions and processes for parents
The healing, so parents see themselves as whole human beings
Why parents need to see the combination of disarray and competence
The necessity of developmentally-supportive help to parents to see their baby as whole
The empowering message to parents to nourish them and help them recover and develop
Why the post-traumatic moments and grief do NOT invalidate your experiences as a NICU parent

Resources:

www.docmara.com

Parenting Your Premature Baby and Child: The Emotional Journey by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D. and Mara Tesler Stein, Psy.D.

Intensive Parenting: Surviving the Emotional Journey through the NICU by Deborah L. Davis, Ph.D and Mara Tesler Stein, PsyD